Keeping it Real
A few weeks ago, in a post titled “Measure Twice, Cut Once,” I made a case for slowing down and questioning what we believe before we act on it. Since then, I’ve been trying hard to take my own advice, with predictably variable success. Stopping to consider that we might be wrong is really hard, because we just feel so . . . so . . . right!
To some degree, that’s by design. In his book Thinking Fast and Slow, the Nobel Prize winning economist Daniel Kahneman talks about the two systems we use for decision making and problem solving. One is a slow system, which weighs the available evidence and deduces a course of action through careful reasoning. That takes a long time, and a lot of mental effort. In most situations, we use our quick-and-dirty fast system, which allows us to make decisions rapidly, based on first impressions and past experience.
When we use our fast system, we seem to react to our environment directly. Something happens, and we respond with some action—event A leads to behavior B. But just because our fast system processes quickly, that doesn’t mean the processing isn’t done. It just happens out of view--hidden from our conscious minds.
When something happens in the world around us, we are only aware of it through our senses. Already, this transports us from objective reality to subjective perception. Our senses can fool us with incomplete or faulty information, and someone else may experience the same event yet see, hear, taste or feel something very different.
Once sensory input registers in our conscious minds, we interpret it. This takes us a step further from the real world. Our interpretations are based on pre-existing narratives, limited experience and selective knowledge. They are highly subjective.
Soon after interpretation comes our emotional reaction. This varies a great deal depending on the physical and emotional state we were in when the event occurred. If we had a bad day, or if we were already annoyed or anxious, our emotional reaction will be much stronger and much more negative.
And then, based on our subjective interpretations and our imprecise emotions, we act. What seems to be a two-step process from event to reaction is actually a rapid, subjective, unreliable chain from event, to perception, to interpretation, to emotion, to action.
That sequence from A to B to C to D to E is usually invisible--but if we engage our slow system and really we look for it, it becomes clear. Doing that in the heat of the moment is easier said than done, but when we manage it, our relationship with reality changes in fundamental ways.
