Rapid Response

When something unexpected or uncomfortable disrupts our lives, there are a couple of ways we can behave: we can either react or respond.

The default is to react. In the swirl of emotions and uncertainty, our bodies immediately swing into action. Our fight or flight response kicks in. Maybe we get angry, or anxious, or scared. Maybe we lash out, or run and hide. Generally, reactivity is not our best friend. This is the state in which we say and do things we later regret and have to apologize for. This is when we make rash decisions and then compound our problems by defending the indefensible.

There is an alternative, though. Instead of reacting, we can respond. Responding requires functioning frontal lobes, not hyperfunctioning adrenal glands. It’s a way to take reasoned action in the face of unexpected stress and change. That’s all well and good, you say, but how are you supposed to retain your reason and your calm when your entire autonomic nervous system is transforming you into Gland Boy? The key is having a team in place.

Think of first responders. When a house catches fire, or a tornado rips through a shopping mall, they don’t start grabbing people off the street and turning them into firefighters and police officers. When someone’s heart stops in the hospital, they don’t recruit the pizza delivery guy to run the code. 

Who are your first responders? When disaster strikes (and, for almost all of us, it eventually will), who will you call? Just as important, who are you ready to respond for when they call you? The time to figure that out is right now, not when the sirens go off.

Most of us can handle what life throws us most of the time. Just remember, most of the time isn’t all of the time.