The Paradox of Permanence

I’ve been thinking about paradoxes. Three examples, from three different writers, have been bumping around in my mind.

1. From Adam Grant: Learning isn't just about accumulating knowledge; it's about unlearning and rethinking what we believe we know.

2. From Esther Perel: Building strong relationships isn't about building impregnable fortresses; it's about learning to rebuild, so you can weather the inevitable cycle of harmony, disruption, and repair.

3. From Anne Lamott: Good writing isn't about getting it right; it's about getting it out, then rewriting and rewriting and rewriting. All first drafts are shit.

The thing that ties these ideas together, and that makes them seem paradoxical, is our misguided longing for perfection and permanence. If, as the Buddhists teach us, all things are impermanent, then the skill we need in life is to be flexible enough to let things go and deal with what is, not what we hoped would be or what we thought would be. Life is change. When we are static, or as David Whyte might say "stuck in seasons past" the world stops making sense until we can move to the new season.