We are all imperfect messengers and imperfect listeners.

I frequently find myself in spirited disagreement with my other empirically-oriented friends. We usually agree, more or less, about what we know. Where we butt heads is when we talk about what we don’t know.

Stopping to consider that we might be wrong is really hard, because we just feel so . . . so . . . right!

Not knowing crap is the best.

One psychological term that gets thrown around a lot is “boundaries.” Everyone seems to agree that it’s good to have clear boundaries, and a problem if you don’t, but what does that even mean? 

Sometimes, you can avoid a world of trouble by just slowing down and taking a more accurate measure of things. It can be hard to do if you tend to react in the moment, but it’s a habit worth acquiring.

People talk a lot about personal growth--so much so that it’s become a cliché. But why don’t people talk about relational growth?

When something unexpected or uncomfortable disrupts our lives, there are a couple of ways we can behave: we can either react or respond.

When our wish for the certainty of a simple answer overrides our need to understand the messy truth, Occam's Razor becomes a hatchet, and the cut is neither clean nor precise.

Sometimes I lay awake at night, worrying for hours about things that might happen, or about things that already did. I try to be all Buddhist about it and stop grasping at things I can’t change, but it’s hard to be enlightened when you can’t sleep and you’re grinding your teeth and your monkey-mind is scampering around in your skull at 100 MPH.

During the glow of the holidays, they seemed like such laudable, and maybe even reachable, goals. But now, in the harsh light of our extended holiday hangovers, they don’t look so bright and shiny anymore.

thank you

As bad as people are at giving advice, we’re just as bad at asking for it and accepting it.

There was once a man who sought advice and counsel from a great teacher.

“You seem to be suffering,” said the teacher. “Come, sit, and tell me what I can do to help.”

Our emotions are triggered by our experiences, but they are also molded by our assumptions, our biases and our conclusions.

A little navel gazing can help, especially if you do it with someone who’s seen their share of innies and outies in their time.

When a loved one passes on from this life, we go through a passage of a different kind. They leave behind a void, and we have to figure out how to fill it.

My strongest memories of those cold, bright autumn days are the smell of burning leaves and the last, lingering warmth of Indian summer, before the long New England winter took hold.

The other day, a friend of mine said: “People can surprise you, but they never break character.” I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. He may well be right, but it depends on what you mean by character.

The reason this structure keeps coming up is that it helps us satisfy one of our own deepest longings: the longing for meaning.